Taylors Helping Hands is a charitable organization dedicated to the memory of Taylor E Cothran.

  2 Corinthians 1:2-4 "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Churst, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."(NIV)


Home Moms Blog October 5, 2010

October 5, 2010

A story, poem, or lament by Tara.

( Last night was the eve of the accident. yesterday seemed kind of looming, like I felt an impending disaster, which off course I knew as my PTSD relives with great detail what happened before, expecting the same ressults. I know that I know that I know at 3:30 am he's gonna fall, and I woke up. At 4:30 I woke up as that is the time we were notified of his fall. Woke up again about 7 as we were in the hospital finding out and seeing for the first time, our son, brother, grandson. Lying peacefully, looking beautiful, even though there were signs of being hurt, most important were the hurts we couldn't see, the ones going on in his precious, smart, amazing brain. Ugh, what a STUPID STUPID day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

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Have you ever woken up and found a spider bite on your body, the familiar 2 holed scar left behind in the night? You think to yourself, if only I had woken up in time, I could’ve stopped it. Every single day I wake up with the same reoccurring scar. Every single day I wake up and think, if only I had been awake, or stayed up just in time, I could’ve prevented this bite , I could’ve changed the outcome. Except this isn’t just a small bite, this is a crater left behind in my heart and soul that will never heal.

 

When you move forward in life, it all blurs together. The days become mushed together, and weeks fly by like fast cars and airplanes. But when you really get down to it, you can pick out the moment where everything changed, The one night, the one drink, the one drug, the one stop light, the one decision that changed the world as you know it and would never be the same.

Tara Cothran 2009